Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: pop 3

Twirling flakes and ice skates makes ya wanna dance (if you’re younger than 16). So, let’s get semi-nauseous with pop tributes to snowmen.

Technically a parody of the ‘hit’ ‘Chillin’ like a Villain’ from the Disney Channel’s Descendents show about offspring of cartoon bad guys, “Chillin’ Like a Snowman” is still so forced, so vapid, so MADLIBS tween slang edition that it qualifies as its category: sugar. Thanks, Sofia Carson.

While on the Disney juggernaut, travel back to ‘The Mickey Mouse Club’ to see Annette Funicello dancing and (eventually) singing “Hap-Hap-Happy Snowman” for all the leering cowpokes.

Michael Franks tries to pop the jazz with “When the Snowman Sings.” Ook ook a choke.

Just as jazz band fun is Ya Tafari’s “Mr. Snowman.” Yawn.

Vegas pop from Fancy travels back to the ’90s for which we are barely nostalgic yet for a heapin’ dose of “Snowman.” I am trying to avoid drug references for my snowman songs, but here–i can’t tell.

UK pop from Nathaniel Forrester in the bouncy form of “My Snowman.” Couldn’t get a date?

Pop pop from The Icicles (a Heyheyhey) fulfills emotional shallowness to the tune of “Snowman.”

Rock pop when Danny and Cindy Schneider ask the “Snowman” what he sees, thinks, feels, etc.

Nashville recording gamin Evin has a particularly puffy dance number in “Love Song for a Snowman.” She’s lonely so she makes an imaginary (boy)friend. That’s cool, innit? (His eyes are cookie dough, fagudnessake.)

Fun mod pop from Johnny & the Raindrops remind us these should be Xmas songs! “Someone Stole our Snowman”  is a search engine for where that ephemera went! Wot fun!

Retro romperama! The Del Zorros ’70s the pop with “Snowman’s Holiday.” It’s all cones and caps, baby!

Encore: The Crystalairs re-doowop up a flurry with “Snowman.” Put this on repeat, cats.

Back to the past for the actual fun! 1963 gives us Jaynetts’ “Snowman, Snowman, Sweet Potato Nose“–a real dance sensation. Dottdoo doddadoot doo.

Millie Small (‘My Boy Lollipop’) pops her heart out from 1964 with a similar sentiment but an opposite R+B tinged “I’ve Fallen in Love with a Snowman.” Twist and shower him with icy kisses!