Monthly Archives: June 2017

Drink N.B. Merry: scotch

Scotch whiskey is just whiskey from Scotland. There’s more to it than that, but who cares?

Well, millions apparently.

Laphroaig has a clever commercial setting customer raves to traditional Christmas carol music. Almost right up my alley. There’s two of these.

Lord Kitchener doesn’t exactly savor the flavor of the thirty-year-old distillation when he wants you to “Bring de Scotch for Christmas.” It’s partying he wants to enjoy with his parang calypso conniptions.

Saddling the dog and spitting into the mike Mike McKenzie rocks “A Bottle of Scotch and a Pair of Socks (All I Want for Christmas).” If you don’t quite understand him, you get him.

Just as low fi (is it experimental rock when it’s indecipherable?) come I Don’t Know Margo with “Christmas Scotch.” This is oddball enough to hang on your tree and play for your couldn’t-think-what-to-say toast. Skoal.

Drink N.B. Merry: bourbon

The best of the batch for bourbon Christmas singing hails from Bob’s Burgers, a secret source of novelty music of every ilk. “The Spirits of Christmas” may ostensibly be about all merry drinking, but it doesn’t take a whole minute of listening to realize slumlord Mr. Fischoeder (Kevin Kline) has a favorite. Those who watch the end credits of the series will get why brother Felix has to skate in and out of frame the entire song.

Drink N.B. Merry: vodka

Not much on this colorless, odorless ingredient. But it’s best chilled straight out of the freezer, so let’s chip off the frost and sing a song of sauce or two.

In the new spirit of detente we live in Sonata Arctica brays out an encore crowd pleaser: “Merry Vodka Christmas!” Set to Have Nagila it is hardly holiday-themed. But we’re reaching here, so there.

Clive M pours out his unnamed friend’s heart with “Vodka and Snowflakes,” a song of regret and swallowed consonants. I like the overall feel, as in the wish that you were coming home sounds more like hu hoo hoon hu-hone hu-hone. It just delivers the message, you know?

Drink N.B. Merry: rum2

Your best rum songs are going to be more authentic riddim from the islands. Compare and contrast the J.Buffet’s drunk st. Nick to the one in Rondy ‘Luta’ McIntosh’s “Rum Santa.” That’s 3rd-stage party-fool dancing. Look at what I can do!

Shawn ‘Da Ma$tamind’ Noel rides the rhythm into “What is Christmas Without Rum?” Chortling, whooping, chanting… 4th stage.

Hangovers get quieter. Throwback riddim from Lord Beginner glimpses the big band beginnings of riddim: cool calypso! “Christmas Morning the Rum Had Me Yawning” recalls plantation slave songs for me, so yeah.

Party foolishness springs out of “Horner Rum” by Mere. Parang is the Trinidad brand of riddim. Sorry to lump ’em all together.

Sprangalang growls through more parang “Bring Drinks.” But i can just make out the request to bring rum for Christmas. Probably some of the other days as well.

“Drink a Rum” best encapsulates the abandon of this spirit. The Merrymen make a boy band bit out of the debauchery while still keeping their roots Trinidadian. Lord Kitchener gets more primal here with sloppy vocals and cheap instrumentation. Check out the electronica of the ’60s!

Drink N.B. Merry: rum1

If you want just rum in your holiday liquor cabinet you usually rely on rhymes with drum (pum pum pum). But some rummies wanna go straight up with Caribbean Tom Thumb. Yo ho ho.

Ho hum rum songs include Bah & the Humbugs playing slacker elves deifying the demon rum. The humor of that obvious inappropriateness is lost in this loungey sing-a-long. “All You Need is Rum” is a fun song to spring on the unaware, but not to rotate into your novelty selections.

Joseph Michael Young meditates sadly on his only friend “Holiday Rum.” It’s a plaintive prosody.

Jimmy Buffett tries to Gulf it up with gusto in “Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum.” But this shaggy dog about Santa needing a (drinking) break reflects on middle-aged sadness in a 2nd-stage of wistful drukenness and self worth crisis.

A punk twist on the title comes from The Cucumbers. “Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum” here is a great earthy, naughty chant begrudging nuthin off the pirate allusion. Damn Santa.

Drink N.B. Merry: HBR

Another drink celebrated exclusively around Christmas is hot buttered rum. Songs about HBR may not always focus on the holidays (like Carol Weaver’s simple Red Clay Ramblers folk exhortation: “Hot Buttered Rum“), but you know–like with eggnog–that partaking of this libation is a tip of the lip to the Lord. You know.

‘Tis a pretty song. Reilly and Maloney give it the old Kigston Trio folk fun try. Mary Chapin Carpenter gives it the matter of fact, no nonsense statement. Mike Murphee gives it a warbling melancholic dirge-like sendoff. Bryan Bowers overmikes his mbira-sounding dulcimer creating a more haunting ghostly wisp of a warning. Phil Passen gets the music mix right but loses all feeling in his vocals. Leo Eilts goes for Dylanesque with his harsh syncopation and heavy harmonica (nice expository defense of this song as a Christmas ditty–thanx). Rani Arbo and Daisy Mayhem throw back to barn-dwelling throaty mountain folk–sounds like a party, of a sort.  The Red Clay Ramblers theyselves the originators of said piece play the lay like they’re at an Irish funeral (with a 3 1/2 minute fiddlin’ intro). Becomes an old world mini-opera of an alcoholic beverage, it does.

Krista Detor gets her drink on for present-day Christmas partying with her “Hot Buttered Rum.” Try not to keep up with her escalating partaking. But sway to the hot buttery vocals.

Drink N.B. Merry: nog8

Is that enough eggnog? Not if you can still see clearly enough to read this.

Santa drunk on eggnog songs include:

“Santa Drank the Eggnog” by Clare Means. Sounds like a kids’ song, though Santa gets pretty handsy high as he is. Look away, little girls!

Comedy country from Kevin Afflack arrives in the form of “Blame It on the Eggnog.” Peppermint schnapps sneaks in there, but it’s more interesting what Santa’s go-to is for in the bag singing.

You are dead drunk ‘nog songs include:

Angry garage rock informs this frame of mind. Posture & the Grizzly play “Egg Nog Drunk Off of Hilary Duff’s Piss” like the standard manifesto of working class injustice. Don’t worry about the drinking then.

Lil Snarky has morning after regrets from a bender in “Eggnog, Bitches!” Adult situations (who did I sleep with?!), childish behavior (humping dogs), bouncy pop music. Keep a barf bag handy.

More unfortunate puppetry and helium vocals in “The Eggnog Addict.” Take note of the inventory of additives (moonshine, too). This is presented as a curative, a little hair of the ‘nog. But the soft folk strumming is so soothing. Kerem and Ben are not above puppet vomit, however.

A bit more ‘live’ is Christy Davis, outing her alcoholic relations in “Granny’s ‘Special’ Eggnog.” It’s truth telling time in a soulfully folk throw down. Next time, blackout and don’t remember. Or stay away stay away stay away stay away from the eggnog.

 

 

Drink N.B. Merry: nog7

Drinking Christmas from now on is all booze, hooch, and spirits.

Eggnog fully loaded is the beginning of some memorable holiday get-togethers.

Starting out philosophically and stuck with rum, The Morning Squirrels keep one eye on the TV when they explain “The Eggnog Song.” Some killer guitar folking, but mind the memes boys.

Jumping ahead Canned Hamm can barely string their psychedelic pop lyrics together for “Rum and Eggnog.” Head hop holly humping huh what did he say.

Whiskey now for The Rockin’ Guys’ “Eggnog.” Hard, but southern, rocking about the aftermaths of dysfunctional family drinking.

Erica Perry twangs a bit ‘billy with her “Whiskey in My Eggnog.” Not so far gone yet, but anticipating going that far. Girl can sing.

For a change of taste Michael Hackbart, Maurice Johnson, and Elliot Live serve up “Vodka Eggnog.” Dissing whiskey results in some fun rhymes. These are nearly talented, sassy entertainers. I have to give it up for tart over talent.

Drink N.B. Merry: nog6

The strangest spiking of the ‘nog is a popular, though underground song entitled “The Eggnog Song.” It’s not alcohol this time. And everyones faces seem to melt. There are club versions by Jacob Alexander (masterful), Richard White (earnest), Shawn Ryan (loungey), and Emily Clarke (shrill). But let’s give it up for (i believe) the originator: Chris Critelli. (It’s the oldest posting i can find.) Buckle up this one’s a doozy.

Drink N.B. Merry: nog5

A few songs have raised the roof in correlation with raising the blood alcohol index. Eggnog is not required to be hard, but many enjoy it that way.

If it’s a surprise, then someone SPIKED that drink. Who would do that?

Vaudeville Etiquette parties with country rock (and yodeling), but when that’s not enough “Let’s Spike the Eggnog.” Smells like the 1980s.

Jason O’Brien also recalls old country with “Santa’s Spiked Eggnog.” It’s a saga of elvish betrayal, drunk sleighing, and injustice.

Lil Poverty Angels plays Santa as a playa making the BillCosby move with “Santa Spiked the Eggnog.” It’s rap with a suspiciously ’90s fun backbeat.

Accidental Airplay also rap out “Who Spiked the Eggnog?” These kids are a 9.5 on the wild-o-meter to begin with, but with the addition of alkey-hall—oh my. Some nice solos (they also take turns adding to the punchbowl too–gum!?) makes this a party song. And a half.

The real (white) deal on sneaking in daddy-juice belongs to Straight No Chaser. They make a Scooby Doo case out of the crime in the big band style a cappella “Who Spiked the Eggnog?” It was me.