A peppermint stick with a handle is your Christmas constant: the candy cane.
It’s been a symbol of the holiday for centuries, so The Kiboomers have a counting game for you little ones. “Five Candy Canes” has less over emoted condescension and more happy for candy singing than most children’s tunes. I give it five candy canes.
Laurie Berken has a sugar/drug-induced vision in “Candy Cane Jane.” Not strictly Christmastide, but wintery nonetheless. Suh-weet.
Plank Road Publishing, natch, has songs for kids to sing at the third-grade assembly about non-secular Advent-ures. “Peppermint Candy Cane” takes the low road to kids’ music with its repetitive, moronic, mish mash of melodic metaphors.
Some mock the easy target of easily identifiable holiday props. Jackisanerd glibly improvs fractions of xmas songs each year into 3-minute ADHD compilations. Last year he extended his “Candy Cane” song into a full version. Yule B Sorry.
Let’s pick up the honorable mantle of popular music now. Little Feat’s Lowell George has an Invasion-flavored song from 1993 that might move you: “Candy Cane Madness” plays with the sweetie like a twirly toy and spins you across the candy counter.
Darius Rucker warms up soft country like peppermint cocoa with “Candy Cane Christmas,” alliteration after my own aorta. It smells of big band, but tastes of easy listening.
Billy’s Pop presents Amo tainting party music with garage in his “Candy Cane.” Short and swell.
Ending with grunge, The White Stripes play “Candy Cane Children” like somebody’s listening. It’s a cautionary tale for angry tots.