Merry Mistletoe: pop

Pop music is for kids wanting to be 6 years older than they are. By the time the subject matter of top 40 tunes is age appropriate, the consumer is so over that.

Thusly, these are largely trash.

Brenna Miles (from TV!) twangs up pop for her “Mistletoe.” You’re eight. in front of mirror, with too much make up on, practicing the nae nae–Go!

Playing the soft rock angle, Colin Healy sounds like a girl with “Meet Me Under the Mistletoe.” It’s what prepubescents pick.

Breathy but safe, Kendall Schmidt autotunes “Blame it on the Mistletoe.” Scream! Scream! Cream!

WHO really wants to be a sexually active girl?! Drag act Courtney Act with “Head to Mistletoe.” Feel like a princess with all those frogs!