Well, if it’s not you, not love… how ’bout–anybody? Any two legs off the street? Desperate times are often represented on Santa’s list.
Awkward poser Jack Douglass tells you all about it in “All I Want for Christmas is a Girlfriend.” Do you copy? He’s not picky.
The Refreshments are also unparticular when they claim “I Want a New Baby for Christmas.” Guess as long as it’s not the old baby…. Rollickin’ jerry lee piano, but not exactly rock.
Slightly more picky is Bigg Robb who claims “I Want a Big Woman for Christmas.” This is a bit dull-witted, and largely spoken word (not on my blog)… but Robb tries so hard. I mean, he doesn’t even swear. Ups, my man.
Higher standards are espoused by Jonas Brothers who individually rock out “All I Want for Christmas is the Girl of My Dreams.” They’re going to get her, too. If they weren’t so adorable, i’d call the cops.
The New Edition is very specific when they chant like ballad-bots “All I Want for Christmas is My Girl.” It’s cult-astir! (I suspect you shouldn’t give her to them, not with that weird theremin electronic bit.) Is “candy girl” code for something really wrong?
The Knickerbockers surf us back to the ’60s with “I Want a Girl for Christmas.” It sounds so harmless with harmony like that. Not like human trafficking at all.