Baby It’s Cold: 1958 we’ve arrived

Why have we been slogging through the 1950s? What’s so big about 1958 in particular?

Stan Freberg’s iconic “Green Chri$tma$” comes out this year. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. You should listen to that one again.

But… get ready novelty nerds, David Selville goes #1 on the hit parade with The Chipmunks’ “Christmas Don’t Be Late.” (You know it, so don’t bother listening.) It’s just that, well, weird Xmas music never does that NUMBER ONE chart-topping thing.

Copycats like The Happy Crickets rushed in to capitalize on this sped up sputtering sputum of spirituality. And, behold,that did not further the cause of cool new music, kids.

So let’s look at the also-rans.

One possible exception to twee helium voice equaling empty nonsense might be from cowpoke Sheb Wooley. 1958 features his big break-out ‘Purple People Eater.’ As has become fashion, he drops a holiday follow-up “Santa Claus Meets the Purple People Eater.” Watch for appearances from Sputnik, rock, and reindeer hands.

Flash in the pan Patsy Raye and the Beatniks drop a couple hepcat platters around now. They’re probably not in it for the money. But if free readings of ‘Howl’ don’t do it for you, listen up to “Beatnik’s Wish.”

12-year-old Augie Rios continues the tradition of adorable prodigies with “Donde Esta Santa Claus?” and the remarkable flipside “Ol’ Fatso.” Kids demand the darnedest things.

From the UK Lanconshireman Ken Platt (‘George Formby the Second’) sings the childish “Snowy the Christmas Kitten.” I love the drollery of the Brits; even at their silliest they do NOT condescend. This might be the sweetest Xmas song ever. Or the most treacley.

Linn Sheldon hosted a Cleveland children’s TV show in the ’50s and portrayed characters, like the pointy-eared elf Barnaby. You know, like Krusty the Klown. So here is his legacy, another animal-based carol (i’ve got to showcase animal songs here soon): “Boofo Goes Where Santa Goes.” ‘Course when i went to high school, boofo meant something else.